My photo of Emerald City, viewed from New Jersey |
What makes a good poem?
One answer may lie in the intensity of every word.
And perhaps one way to wrangle intensity is through structure -- even if it's loose or derivative. The form might help a poet prune and focus.
Writing recently about ghosts, I drafted one as a "sonnet," although only in the sense that there are 10 syllables in each of its 14 lines.
Then I drafted another as a trilogy of Japanese death poems. These are often written in the form of a tanka -- 5 lines totaling 31 syllables (5-7-5-7-7).
Death poems should be emotionally neutral (according to Wikipedia), and "it is considered inappropriate to mention death explicitly; rather, metaphorical references such as... autumn or falling cherry blossom suggest the transience of life."
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Casual Ghosts
All my ghosts are casual, taking note
Of what inspires me to write, taunting
Me, sipping tea. We wander here and there,
Reading the classics in the afternoons.
Leaving this room for a minute or two,
I return to find pages blown open
To particular chapters meant for me.
Life lessons offered from beyond the grave.
As I re-read “The Catcher in the Rye”
Blithe spirits, steeped in the literature
Of murderous defense, cloud my judgement,
Call me phony, and judge my poetry.
So I write to manifest the undead
In the dissonance of unrhymed sonnets.
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In Memorium
I.
My last meal with Dad…
A cheap Italian restaurant,
With Mom, over-dressed.
Before his sunset, he spilled
Mashed potatoes on his tie.
II.
My last memory…
Mom’s napkin, wiping him clean
To the amusement
Of men dining in t-shirts.
Dad’s humiliated face.
III.
My retribution…
I will wear that tie again
After Mom’s last sleep.
It waits, hangs in my closet.
Dad’s ghost, indelibly stained.
I don't know. More simply, I could match haikus with photos I've taken. Then, what I try to convey will be less dense and more relatable.
In that vein, I plan to post one haiku/image every Monday morning on Instagram, Bluesky, and Threads. I welcome you to join me there. I like to follow people back and learn from others, although I get discouraged by all the bots.
I posted my first haiku earlier this week, to accompany the image at the top of this page:
Wizards are sleeping
Emerald City at dawn
There's no place like home